We've all seen the posts, blogs, and shows on couponing. It looks awesome, doesn't it? Women with shopping carts full of food dancing because they paid $1.56 for $200 worth of food and pictures of pantries that look like grocery stores.
I don't know about you, but I've tried this game a time or two. I've cut coupons until my hands hurt, made detailed grocery lists with estimated prices and meal plans that even the pickiest family could enjoy. But it never lasts and I've never saved more than 30% in one trip. Ya know why? Because I don't have 2 hours a a day to figure this shit out! And because I'm lazy. It's a lot of work, this couponing thing. So sometimes I fail because I'm lazy and I just don't have it in me to scour the internet for coffee coupons. And sometimes it's because I literally don't have the time.
So instead of eating a bag of Cheetos in the corner while sobbing because I only saved 28% on my last Target trip, I'm going to dance in my computer room and take pictures of my 9 boxes of International Coffee I have stocked up and make a list for the rest of the lazy/busy moms that want to get in on this gig.
1) Put them in Something Grab a binder, an envelope, shoe box, your kid's torn up school folder and start printing. It doesn't have to be pretty girls! Just get something to gather those coupons in that is portable. I have a shoe box next to my printer and a binder that fits in my purse, which happens to be more of a book bag because I am a purse pack rat.
2) Get a New Email- A lot of sites require sign up to get good deals. So grab a seperate email and send all that junk there. When I had everything going to my main email I was deleting like crazy. Now, I check my extra email when I am in the mood to save.
3) Follow the Good Sites- There are some great sites out there like Krazy Coupon Lady and LOZO that will do the work for you. Krazy Coupon Lady posts deals through out the day with links to where to print the coupons. She tells you exactly how to get that package of pasta down to .05 And LOZO is just awesome! Sign up, put in your grocery list and in a few days they send you a link for coupons that matched your list. Freakin AWESOME.
4) Print When You Can- My printer is a piece, so sitting at the computer for 2 hours while I wait for my 176 coupons to print is a no-go. I "clip" all my coupons, open up all the sites and keep that in a seperate window. Then every time I sit down at my computer to check email or facebook I print up a few pages.
5) Clip Everything- I clip every coupon I may or may not use. For instance, diapers. I clip every damn diaper coupon I find. Since I don't sit down and look through the ads for deals, I can use whatever brand is having a deal that day. Last week Target had buy 2 get a $10 gift card on Pampers...I don't usually buy Pampers as they are way more expensive than the cheapo Target brand that happens to work just as well. But lucky me I had my coupons so not only did I get 10 bucks for two I saved 3 dollars on each box.
6) Keep your Coupons with You- I frequently have to do last minute and surprise shopping trips. If my coupons are on me, I'll actually spend a little more time planning the trip and I'll use the damn things before they sit like expired guilt on my dishwasher.
7) Dance and Take Pictures- Okay, so maybe we aren't the gals that can save 98.7% on shopping trips, but 28.4% is still something to smile about. So whatever you save, be happy about it. Take pictures of your little victories and share them all over facebook.
And for those of you that love and depend on coffee as much as I, here's my super happy coupon tip of the day
~Coffee Mom
Friday, October 4, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Loosing the First Family Pet
Four days ago we lost our first pet as a family. It was tragic and dramatic, right out of a movie. She was a beloved Ragdoll Siamese named Cassie that had the spunk of a toddler juiced up on candy corn and mountain dew. She was amazing and we were lucky to have her for the 6 years that we did.
Things are not going to smoothly in the house since all this happened. I won't get into details (because I don't feel like sobbing again this morning and because no one really wants to hear them) but she had been sick for about 2 weeks. It boiled down to her getting an infection because of a bot fly (don't look it up unless you have a strong stomach) which triggered kidney failure. The vet tells us she would have died eventually from this as her kidney's were week. But that gives me little comfort.
We had her locked up in our guest room, not knowing exactly what was wrong and not wanting to get the rest of our cats sick. Lil Miss would check on her daily, try to get her to eat, drink, and play. She would coo "its okay Cassie" as she pet her. I was proud of her, but had that sinking feeling that her efforts would not help.
The last day was the hardest. I knew what was coming. I've lost several cats before and could see it Cassie's sad eyes that we would not have her much longer. I let her wander the house as Lil Miss followed her diligently chasing away the other cats. And after awhile, I locked her in the bathroom where I cried and apologized to Cassie for not being able to make her better. Her spunk was gone, but I could tell she was saying "Fuck you! Let me die already!"
The husband came home from work and I balled like a baby as he put her in the carrier which was surely to be her last car ride. He wanted to stay positive. It was his cat, and she was going to fine.
And then the call came. She was gone. After several minutes of the husband and I crying as he told me of her last minutes, the big question came up. What do we tell Lil Miss? She's 4...does she really need to know about death? Can we just tell her Cassie ran away?
We talked about it for hours. I looked up articles all saying that telling the truth is the right thing to do. And in the end that is what we did. We bought doughnuts for breakfast from the local bakery and sat her down. . .
"We have something really sad to tell you honey. Cassie did not make it. Cassie died."
Her initail response? "Oh, okay." And all I could think was AWESOME! She doesn't really get it yet! She's too young and this doesn't have to be sad for her. And the first day wasn't. But things have progressed since then. She's asked why the kitty doctor can't just give her medicine to make her come back to life, she's wanted to know where she's at, she's asked to check on her. And worst of all she is now making sure her kitty is drinking water and eating so she doesn't "get dead" like Cassie. She's acting out, crying at every little thing and asking for hugs. She's even stated she doesn't want her baby sister to die. Break my heart.
In a little bit, we are going to bury her in the wild flower garden. I don't want to do it. I want to pretend it didn't happen. But it did. And this is part of owning a pet when you have kiddos. We will go through this again with our other cats and it will be just as heartbreaking as this time.
So why am I writing all this? Because it feels therapeutic to put it out there, I guess.
~CoffeeMom
Things are not going to smoothly in the house since all this happened. I won't get into details (because I don't feel like sobbing again this morning and because no one really wants to hear them) but she had been sick for about 2 weeks. It boiled down to her getting an infection because of a bot fly (don't look it up unless you have a strong stomach) which triggered kidney failure. The vet tells us she would have died eventually from this as her kidney's were week. But that gives me little comfort.We had her locked up in our guest room, not knowing exactly what was wrong and not wanting to get the rest of our cats sick. Lil Miss would check on her daily, try to get her to eat, drink, and play. She would coo "its okay Cassie" as she pet her. I was proud of her, but had that sinking feeling that her efforts would not help.
The last day was the hardest. I knew what was coming. I've lost several cats before and could see it Cassie's sad eyes that we would not have her much longer. I let her wander the house as Lil Miss followed her diligently chasing away the other cats. And after awhile, I locked her in the bathroom where I cried and apologized to Cassie for not being able to make her better. Her spunk was gone, but I could tell she was saying "Fuck you! Let me die already!"
The husband came home from work and I balled like a baby as he put her in the carrier which was surely to be her last car ride. He wanted to stay positive. It was his cat, and she was going to fine.
And then the call came. She was gone. After several minutes of the husband and I crying as he told me of her last minutes, the big question came up. What do we tell Lil Miss? She's 4...does she really need to know about death? Can we just tell her Cassie ran away?
We talked about it for hours. I looked up articles all saying that telling the truth is the right thing to do. And in the end that is what we did. We bought doughnuts for breakfast from the local bakery and sat her down. . .
"We have something really sad to tell you honey. Cassie did not make it. Cassie died."
Her initail response? "Oh, okay." And all I could think was AWESOME! She doesn't really get it yet! She's too young and this doesn't have to be sad for her. And the first day wasn't. But things have progressed since then. She's asked why the kitty doctor can't just give her medicine to make her come back to life, she's wanted to know where she's at, she's asked to check on her. And worst of all she is now making sure her kitty is drinking water and eating so she doesn't "get dead" like Cassie. She's acting out, crying at every little thing and asking for hugs. She's even stated she doesn't want her baby sister to die. Break my heart.
In a little bit, we are going to bury her in the wild flower garden. I don't want to do it. I want to pretend it didn't happen. But it did. And this is part of owning a pet when you have kiddos. We will go through this again with our other cats and it will be just as heartbreaking as this time.
So why am I writing all this? Because it feels therapeutic to put it out there, I guess.
~CoffeeMom
Friday, September 20, 2013
Catching Up and Keeping Up
Well when I last left you all, I was trying to accomplish one week of healthy food. Not only did I fail at that, I let my newly found love of blogging fall to the waste side as well. Bummer!
I have excuses and reasons that reach to the moon and back. But I am kind of over excuses and reasons. I'd like to actually stick to something for once. . . Well I stick to a lot of things like feeding the children, going to work...ya know the shitty stuff you have to do. This time I'm going to stick to something for me.
So, I'm back.
Since 3/24/12 I've had some big changes take place in my life. The hubster joined the military, I have a new baby in the house, and I am in the middle of changing jobs. So much to talk (bitch) about!
So while I'm skipping the coffee tonight so I can sleep before lil miss number 2 wakes up, I'll be back soon coffee in hand.
~Coffee Mom
I have excuses and reasons that reach to the moon and back. But I am kind of over excuses and reasons. I'd like to actually stick to something for once. . . Well I stick to a lot of things like feeding the children, going to work...ya know the shitty stuff you have to do. This time I'm going to stick to something for me.
So, I'm back.
Since 3/24/12 I've had some big changes take place in my life. The hubster joined the military, I have a new baby in the house, and I am in the middle of changing jobs. So much to talk (bitch) about!
So while I'm skipping the coffee tonight so I can sleep before lil miss number 2 wakes up, I'll be back soon coffee in hand.
~Coffee Mom
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Week Of Healthy-ish Food (sort of)
I totally forgot we had to go out of town last week . . . again. So we'll start out with Monday-Wednesday and I'll get around to Thursday-Sunday next week. It was a nice start though.
Parmesan Crusted Tilapia
Okay, so nothing "crusted" is ultra healthy for you, but it's fish and I need to figure out how to make it bearable for my family. No one eats fish in this house unless it is drenched in tartar sauce and breaded beyond recognition. So we gave the above recipe a try.
Verdict: Freakin awesome. I loved, loved, loved it. The kiddo did too, but filled up on salad first so she didn't finish her fish. Can you say lunch tomorrow? The husband said "It's not as good as pizza, but I'd eat it again if you put it in front of me." In my book, that is a win
* Took this for my lunch on Tuesday and realized our microwave is broken. Awesome surprise, it was just as tasty cold.
Cold Oatmeal
I'm sure you have all seen this on Pinterest, the Mason Jar oatmeal trend. Well, I don't have Mason Jars or half the healthy ingredients listed in this blog, so I just winged it using Tupperware instead of mason jars and regular old oats without chia seeds. I made three different kinds to see how they would turn out.
1) Oatmeal, frozen strawberries, greek yogurt, and soy
2) Oatmeal, cranberries, walnuts, greek yogurt and 1%
3) Oatmeal and 1%
Verdict: Way better than cheerioes which is our normal morning ritual. Number 1 was by far the best. We gave this one to the kiddo who said it was the best thing ever. Number 2 was good, but a little runny. And number 3 sucked. Super runny and the oats seemed very raw yet. Hubster threw his away. So, sort of a win as long as we stick in between 1 and 2.
*Side Note: Mr. Steak and Potatoes refused to eat his cold. His look of horror as I served him this cold dish was hilarious. You'd think I gave him fried cat lips. So we nuked it...nothing exploded.
Monday
Parmesan Crusted Tilapia Okay, so nothing "crusted" is ultra healthy for you, but it's fish and I need to figure out how to make it bearable for my family. No one eats fish in this house unless it is drenched in tartar sauce and breaded beyond recognition. So we gave the above recipe a try.
Verdict: Freakin awesome. I loved, loved, loved it. The kiddo did too, but filled up on salad first so she didn't finish her fish. Can you say lunch tomorrow? The husband said "It's not as good as pizza, but I'd eat it again if you put it in front of me." In my book, that is a win
* Took this for my lunch on Tuesday and realized our microwave is broken. Awesome surprise, it was just as tasty cold.
Tuesday
Cold OatmealI'm sure you have all seen this on Pinterest, the Mason Jar oatmeal trend. Well, I don't have Mason Jars or half the healthy ingredients listed in this blog, so I just winged it using Tupperware instead of mason jars and regular old oats without chia seeds. I made three different kinds to see how they would turn out.
1) Oatmeal, frozen strawberries, greek yogurt, and soy
2) Oatmeal, cranberries, walnuts, greek yogurt and 1%
3) Oatmeal and 1%
Verdict: Way better than cheerioes which is our normal morning ritual. Number 1 was by far the best. We gave this one to the kiddo who said it was the best thing ever. Number 2 was good, but a little runny. And number 3 sucked. Super runny and the oats seemed very raw yet. Hubster threw his away. So, sort of a win as long as we stick in between 1 and 2.
*Side Note: Mr. Steak and Potatoes refused to eat his cold. His look of horror as I served him this cold dish was hilarious. You'd think I gave him fried cat lips. So we nuked it...nothing exploded.
Wednesday
I had to find a new way to do chicken. I love chicken and could eat it every night but the family is really tired of 3 ways I make it and they never tire of chicken strips. So we gave this one a whirl. The hubster was in a particular shitty mood and fought me on cornflake breading. So I told him to make his own. He made some with turkey chuncks, regular breading and broiled them instead of baking. We also tried the homemade honey mustard.
Verdict: Epic win because his sucked and mine rocked. The only problem was the cornflakes were a little too crunchy for my sensative preggo teeth. But the kiddo thought they were better than "yucky McDonalds". And even the hubster admitted defeat. The homemade honey mustard was actually pretty good and way better than what I had in the fridge. I should also mention that this was super quick. It took about 15 minutes to make and 15 to cook.
So far, so good. Let's hope this week when I tie things up works just as well.
~Coffee Mom
Verdict: Epic win because his sucked and mine rocked. The only problem was the cornflakes were a little too crunchy for my sensative preggo teeth. But the kiddo thought they were better than "yucky McDonalds". And even the hubster admitted defeat. The homemade honey mustard was actually pretty good and way better than what I had in the fridge. I should also mention that this was super quick. It took about 15 minutes to make and 15 to cook.
So far, so good. Let's hope this week when I tie things up works just as well.
~Coffee Mom
Monday, March 18, 2013
A Week of Healthy-ish Food
Earlier I posted about how I eat healthier as a result of having my family. Which is mostly true. I am way healthier than I was before them. Mainly because now I eat three meals a day and rarely is it McDonalds.We still aren't as healthy as I would like. We are far from being a "green" family who lives off the garden in the backyard and eats flax seed with organic soy milk for breakfast. Not that there is anything wrong with that...we just aren't those people. My husband is a steak and potatoes kinda guy. I don't see flax seed breakfast in our future.
So why the new venture into healthy food land? The hubster wants to get back into the military and I don't really want to gain 60 pounds with this pregnancy as I did with the last (even though I am scarfing girl scout cookies while I write this). So we are going beyond whole wheat bread and 1% milk this week. I'm trying something new and healthy-ish every day. We start everything out today with an experiment in fish.
Wish me Luck!
~Coffee Mom
Sunday, March 10, 2013
The Fabulous World of Daycare: Conclusion and Tips
I've thought long and hard on my recent posts about daycare. Re-reading them, I totally sound like a downer and over all complainer! And I do sincerely apologize for not sprinkling some sugar in there.
The reality of daycare is, it's hard with or without the insane situations I was presented. And if you choose or have to be a working mom you are going to be faced with some obstacles. So here's a a few tips to get you through your own daycare travels
1) It is okay to play hooky with your kids
On my worst days when I'm staring at Lil Miss's picture at my desk feeling rather blah and sad, I snatch her up at lunch time and head home early. It's not a regular thing and I keep it to particular downer days. It makes me feel like I am still worth something to her and she gets some special Mommy time.
2) No one is going to take care of your kiddo perfectly
I had to learn this one fast and I think most moms do. I bit my tongue more than I would like to admit with the first day care. Within one week of her being there I was having second thoughts and wondering if I should find someplace else for her to go. But she was safe and well looked after. Her teacher was not perfect, and no one would be. No one is going to do things exactly the way I would. It's best to get over this so that you can truly evaluate your daycare situation.
3) No one is going to replace you
You tell your kiddo no and he cries for his teacher. Can I say "Ouch!" It stings having someone else be important in your kiddo's life. Especially if you are feeling that you are not around as much as you would like. But the fact of the matter is, no one is going to replace Mommy or Daddy. It is a good thing for kiddos to have people who care about them. And it's a good thing for them to connect with their teacher. Get over the sting and move on knowing that you are the most special person to them (regardless of what they may say during tantrums)
4) You know whats your best for your kiddo
Not that you shouldn't listen to what teachers have to say, but take it with a grain of salt. You really do know your kid best and just because they are watching your kid doesn't mean you have to give in. If it doesn't sit right with you don't do it!
5) Be nice to the teachers
I know I did more than my fair share of bitching about teachers recently, but I was always respectful to them. After all, they had my most loved person in their care! They deal with insanity all day long from angry parents to teething babies. It's fine to be firm or to go above their heads when needed. But try to think clearly during pick up and drop off. They have a rough gig and most of them don't deserve the anger directed towards them.
6) Let the Mom Guilt Go!
I know, I know. I said the guilt doesn't go away. And it hasn't for me yet. That doesn't mean I am not striving to let it go. I know I am doing what is best for my family. It may not be what is best for Joe Blow down the street, but it is what is best for us. If I am doing what is best for us, than I have no reason to hold onto the Mom Guilt. In my moments of clarity I can see this.
So chill out, have some coffee and revel in your fabulous daycare moments. . . guilt free!
~Coffee Mom
The reality of daycare is, it's hard with or without the insane situations I was presented. And if you choose or have to be a working mom you are going to be faced with some obstacles. So here's a a few tips to get you through your own daycare travels
1) It is okay to play hooky with your kids
On my worst days when I'm staring at Lil Miss's picture at my desk feeling rather blah and sad, I snatch her up at lunch time and head home early. It's not a regular thing and I keep it to particular downer days. It makes me feel like I am still worth something to her and she gets some special Mommy time.
2) No one is going to take care of your kiddo perfectly
I had to learn this one fast and I think most moms do. I bit my tongue more than I would like to admit with the first day care. Within one week of her being there I was having second thoughts and wondering if I should find someplace else for her to go. But she was safe and well looked after. Her teacher was not perfect, and no one would be. No one is going to do things exactly the way I would. It's best to get over this so that you can truly evaluate your daycare situation.
3) No one is going to replace you
You tell your kiddo no and he cries for his teacher. Can I say "Ouch!" It stings having someone else be important in your kiddo's life. Especially if you are feeling that you are not around as much as you would like. But the fact of the matter is, no one is going to replace Mommy or Daddy. It is a good thing for kiddos to have people who care about them. And it's a good thing for them to connect with their teacher. Get over the sting and move on knowing that you are the most special person to them (regardless of what they may say during tantrums)
4) You know whats your best for your kiddo
Not that you shouldn't listen to what teachers have to say, but take it with a grain of salt. You really do know your kid best and just because they are watching your kid doesn't mean you have to give in. If it doesn't sit right with you don't do it!
5) Be nice to the teachers
I know I did more than my fair share of bitching about teachers recently, but I was always respectful to them. After all, they had my most loved person in their care! They deal with insanity all day long from angry parents to teething babies. It's fine to be firm or to go above their heads when needed. But try to think clearly during pick up and drop off. They have a rough gig and most of them don't deserve the anger directed towards them.
6) Let the Mom Guilt Go!
I know, I know. I said the guilt doesn't go away. And it hasn't for me yet. That doesn't mean I am not striving to let it go. I know I am doing what is best for my family. It may not be what is best for Joe Blow down the street, but it is what is best for us. If I am doing what is best for us, than I have no reason to hold onto the Mom Guilt. In my moments of clarity I can see this.So chill out, have some coffee and revel in your fabulous daycare moments. . . guilt free!
~Coffee Mom
Thursday, March 7, 2013
The Fabulous World of Daycare: Part 2
The other day I started to delve into the world of Daycare feeling stressed and deflated as I realized there were 3 more to go and my poor little chica is not yet 4. But today I am feeling refreshed and ready to tread further down my path of guilt.
DayCare 3
Type: School
Age: 25 months- 31 months
Time Spent: 6 months
In financial desperation we moved to another daycare in September of that year. It was closer to home, further from work, cheaper with longer hours. As with all new things do, this placed seemed like it came out of my dreams. The director was loyal and always listened to the parents without prejudice. And her parents were in the same field as myself so she understood the long and hectic hours. But the teachers were less than desirable. She had 3 teachers over the course of one day. All seemed to know more about my child than I did and made sure to tell me on a daily basis. "She has a really runny nose. You may want to get that checked out. We really don't want her spreading something to the rest of her class." A runny nose? Really? You want my to pull my kid because of a runny nose in winter? I learned to shrug their know-it-allness and struggled through the next few months. After only being there for 2 months I found a flyer stuck to her door. "Due to challenges with our budget we will be closing at 4pm starting Monday" I was livid with the short notice as I start to read another notice about rate increases also starting Monday. I could have cried. The two main reasons we chose this daycare was for the hours and price. Now we were dealing with shorter hours than the other daycares and paying more for it. But not wanting to change her schedule for a 4th time, I sucked it up, re did the finances and my work schedule and reminded myself that this is the price to work. And then these sneaky little s.o.b.s sent out another flyer in February "Due to budget challenges we will be closing in 2 weeks." And this time I literally cried.
DayCare 4
Type: In Home
Age: 31 months- 3 years
Time Spent: 4 months
So in March of last year in the middle of 3 conventions, we switched to yet another daycare. It was a painful process as Lil Miss was old enough to miss her friends and her school. Funny, she never mentioned her teachers. A friend's aunt was wanting to try the in home daycare thing. She had a son roughly Lil Miss's age and a baby. It started, as always, wonderfully. She took them to the park. They played outside every day. She even took them to play places all at her own cost. She even texted me pictures throughout the day! But then one day as we go to pick up our wild child early, we find her wandering in the woods by herself with the little boy. Suddenly our image of her days crashed into a ginormous mound of guilt and worry. She swore up and down that she had just run inside for a moment, but the questions crept in. What had her days been like? Was she being watched at all? Over the last few years I had to remind myself constantly that no one would take care of her in the perfect way... but could I accept this? Could this fall into the category of good enough for her? The hubster and I struggled on what to do. This was a family friend. What would be the consequences of telling her we were going somewhere else? Was it worth the drama? Were we over re-acting? We went back and forth on the issue for a month when I received a lovely text "My son is having too many issues and I need to concentrate on him. I'm sorry to do this, but I can't watch her anymore." This was in July, our busiest month. And while I should have been happy the decision was made for me, I was irate! A text message? She apologized daily and in the end it was for the best.
Daycare 5
Type: School
Age: 3 years- present
Time Spent: 7 months
So we turned to the only daycare left in town. If this didn't work, we'd have to pack up and move. Or I would have to bite the bullet and turn into the stay at home I really didn't think I could be. It's Friday and I am rushing from work to drop off paperwork and painful upfront fee and mandatory field trip fees. I bring in my list of questions now that I am seasoned daycare mom and ask about late fees, fee increases, field trip requirements, lunch policies...the works. "I see here that you require a Dr.'s note for milk intolerance. She gets constipated when she has regular milk, so she only has soy milk. Is that an issue?" Boy, was it ever. Her initial reaction was to question whether Lil Miss had any issues at all. Then began to debate with me on whether soy was healthier or not. None of which should have been her concern. So I called my Dr and begged him to write a Dr.'s note for her having never seen her about this issue. Being the fabulous Dr that he is he called the daycare personally to inform them that I was making the correct decisions, that there was nothing wrong with soy milk and he would be faxing over a note shortly. I understand daycares have rules they have to follow, but it just seems that could have been handled...ya know...any way but that way. After out initial tiff, there weren't too many more issues. Lil Miss loved it, quickly made friends and began to learn things I didn't realize she was capable of learning at her age. Overall it has been a pretty painless process and I wished we would have chosen this one first. We still have the teachers that feel it is more important to spout their infinite wisdom than to give me a real feel for her day. "These gloves don't fit her anymore. You really need to get to Wal-Mart and find some that fit her better. I think they even have some marked down if you are really that hard up." Bite me! Her gloves fit, she just pulls them off. And even if they didn't fit, isn't their a nicer way to present that fact to me? I have noticed that the only teachers who do this are the younger staff that are not yet moms. The mom teachers are always pleasant and warm. They seem to understand that having someone else watch your child is hard enough and acting like a know it all makes the whole experience worse. So far, this place is a keeper and I feel we have finally reached a good spot in our daycare lives.
So what's the point of all this? Hell if I know. I'll get back to you tomorrow when my coffee cup magically fills up again.
~Coffee Mom
DayCare 3
Type: School
Age: 25 months- 31 months
Time Spent: 6 months
In financial desperation we moved to another daycare in September of that year. It was closer to home, further from work, cheaper with longer hours. As with all new things do, this placed seemed like it came out of my dreams. The director was loyal and always listened to the parents without prejudice. And her parents were in the same field as myself so she understood the long and hectic hours. But the teachers were less than desirable. She had 3 teachers over the course of one day. All seemed to know more about my child than I did and made sure to tell me on a daily basis. "She has a really runny nose. You may want to get that checked out. We really don't want her spreading something to the rest of her class." A runny nose? Really? You want my to pull my kid because of a runny nose in winter? I learned to shrug their know-it-allness and struggled through the next few months. After only being there for 2 months I found a flyer stuck to her door. "Due to challenges with our budget we will be closing at 4pm starting Monday" I was livid with the short notice as I start to read another notice about rate increases also starting Monday. I could have cried. The two main reasons we chose this daycare was for the hours and price. Now we were dealing with shorter hours than the other daycares and paying more for it. But not wanting to change her schedule for a 4th time, I sucked it up, re did the finances and my work schedule and reminded myself that this is the price to work. And then these sneaky little s.o.b.s sent out another flyer in February "Due to budget challenges we will be closing in 2 weeks." And this time I literally cried.
DayCare 4
Type: In Home
Age: 31 months- 3 years
Time Spent: 4 months
So in March of last year in the middle of 3 conventions, we switched to yet another daycare. It was a painful process as Lil Miss was old enough to miss her friends and her school. Funny, she never mentioned her teachers. A friend's aunt was wanting to try the in home daycare thing. She had a son roughly Lil Miss's age and a baby. It started, as always, wonderfully. She took them to the park. They played outside every day. She even took them to play places all at her own cost. She even texted me pictures throughout the day! But then one day as we go to pick up our wild child early, we find her wandering in the woods by herself with the little boy. Suddenly our image of her days crashed into a ginormous mound of guilt and worry. She swore up and down that she had just run inside for a moment, but the questions crept in. What had her days been like? Was she being watched at all? Over the last few years I had to remind myself constantly that no one would take care of her in the perfect way... but could I accept this? Could this fall into the category of good enough for her? The hubster and I struggled on what to do. This was a family friend. What would be the consequences of telling her we were going somewhere else? Was it worth the drama? Were we over re-acting? We went back and forth on the issue for a month when I received a lovely text "My son is having too many issues and I need to concentrate on him. I'm sorry to do this, but I can't watch her anymore." This was in July, our busiest month. And while I should have been happy the decision was made for me, I was irate! A text message? She apologized daily and in the end it was for the best.
Daycare 5
Type: School
Age: 3 years- present
Time Spent: 7 months
So we turned to the only daycare left in town. If this didn't work, we'd have to pack up and move. Or I would have to bite the bullet and turn into the stay at home I really didn't think I could be. It's Friday and I am rushing from work to drop off paperwork and painful upfront fee and mandatory field trip fees. I bring in my list of questions now that I am seasoned daycare mom and ask about late fees, fee increases, field trip requirements, lunch policies...the works. "I see here that you require a Dr.'s note for milk intolerance. She gets constipated when she has regular milk, so she only has soy milk. Is that an issue?" Boy, was it ever. Her initial reaction was to question whether Lil Miss had any issues at all. Then began to debate with me on whether soy was healthier or not. None of which should have been her concern. So I called my Dr and begged him to write a Dr.'s note for her having never seen her about this issue. Being the fabulous Dr that he is he called the daycare personally to inform them that I was making the correct decisions, that there was nothing wrong with soy milk and he would be faxing over a note shortly. I understand daycares have rules they have to follow, but it just seems that could have been handled...ya know...any way but that way. After out initial tiff, there weren't too many more issues. Lil Miss loved it, quickly made friends and began to learn things I didn't realize she was capable of learning at her age. Overall it has been a pretty painless process and I wished we would have chosen this one first. We still have the teachers that feel it is more important to spout their infinite wisdom than to give me a real feel for her day. "These gloves don't fit her anymore. You really need to get to Wal-Mart and find some that fit her better. I think they even have some marked down if you are really that hard up." Bite me! Her gloves fit, she just pulls them off. And even if they didn't fit, isn't their a nicer way to present that fact to me? I have noticed that the only teachers who do this are the younger staff that are not yet moms. The mom teachers are always pleasant and warm. They seem to understand that having someone else watch your child is hard enough and acting like a know it all makes the whole experience worse. So far, this place is a keeper and I feel we have finally reached a good spot in our daycare lives.
So what's the point of all this? Hell if I know. I'll get back to you tomorrow when my coffee cup magically fills up again.
~Coffee Mom
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
"Men" in the Office
2:06 PM with tears in my eyes. My list keeps extending down the page, now into two rows, and starting on the back of the page. I have one employee call me up to look over a help wanted ad."Does this include everything I wan it to?" The next employee asks about bank reconciliation "These numbers aren't the same and I dunno why. So should I just put this on your desk to figure out?" And the husband? He's looking up on Google "What to do when your boss is an idiot"
FUCKING REALLY? These are grown-ass men asking these questions.
To Male Employee 1 "Yes. The ad says what I would think you want it to." I smile and pat his back.
To Male Employee 2 "No you can not just give this to me to figure out. Please crunch the numbers and figure out what exactly you are off and why. Maybe it has something to do with the end of the month." I smile and pat his back
To Male Employee 3(Husband) "Babe, did you send out those flyers?"
"Uh, no. I was out most of last week working from home. I figured someone else could do it."
"Okay, well it hasn't been done, so you got it right?" I smile and pat his back.
"No, not really. I've got a lot going on so here just add it to your list over there. 500 brochures stuffed with flyers. . . ." And this is when I zone out. I'm writing down word for word what he is saying to me, but I'm not breathing and I can't see straight. I pray he will leave on an errand so I can close the door and bang my head into my desk and cry like the little baby I feel like being.
Working with all men is like playing Mommy 24/7 and I am really not sure how much longer I can keep this up. On top of the reassurance men in the office seem to need, I also need to clean up after them like my children. Soda bottles, tools, random pieces of paper, dirt on my desk from kicking his god damn nasty ass shoes onto MY desk. The borrowing of things because their things are lost "Um, I sort of lost my scissors and then I borrowed yours and lost those too. So could you maybe order some more?" I can hear a "thanks mom!" somewhere in the back of their head.
I pick a fight with the husband in out small joint office in hopes he would give me the space I needed. He protested so I told him to go for a drive so I could attend to an important work thing without his distracting comments. . . Which of course, was writing this while banging my head into the desk and crying like the baby I want to be. He must think I'm crazy.
I am sure I am the one who made this mess. I've trained them to be like this somehow. I am at a total loss at how to re-train them. But I am really excited to see how they do while I am gone for 6 weeks this summer with my new little bundle of joy. I won't be here to look over ads, reconciliations clean up after them, or take on their random tasks that they can't fit into their busy days.
And in case you were curious before I could even post this I received these questions/comments
-Can you look over this one more time?
-Do I just write things off like this? It's what the internet told me to do. . .
-I set the flyers out so you can take care of all that now.
-Why aren't the licenses in the file?
-No, really this is the last time. Can you look over this?
-Where are the AoI? I thought it was here but there's nothing in that file anymore.
Just a few more minutes alone with my coffee and blog world and I will go back out to being the Office Mom.
~Coffee Mom
FUCKING REALLY? These are grown-ass men asking these questions.
To Male Employee 1 "Yes. The ad says what I would think you want it to." I smile and pat his back.
To Male Employee 2 "No you can not just give this to me to figure out. Please crunch the numbers and figure out what exactly you are off and why. Maybe it has something to do with the end of the month." I smile and pat his back
To Male Employee 3(Husband) "Babe, did you send out those flyers?"
"Uh, no. I was out most of last week working from home. I figured someone else could do it."
"Okay, well it hasn't been done, so you got it right?" I smile and pat his back.
"No, not really. I've got a lot going on so here just add it to your list over there. 500 brochures stuffed with flyers. . . ." And this is when I zone out. I'm writing down word for word what he is saying to me, but I'm not breathing and I can't see straight. I pray he will leave on an errand so I can close the door and bang my head into my desk and cry like the little baby I feel like being.
Working with all men is like playing Mommy 24/7 and I am really not sure how much longer I can keep this up. On top of the reassurance men in the office seem to need, I also need to clean up after them like my children. Soda bottles, tools, random pieces of paper, dirt on my desk from kicking his god damn nasty ass shoes onto MY desk. The borrowing of things because their things are lost "Um, I sort of lost my scissors and then I borrowed yours and lost those too. So could you maybe order some more?" I can hear a "thanks mom!" somewhere in the back of their head.
I pick a fight with the husband in out small joint office in hopes he would give me the space I needed. He protested so I told him to go for a drive so I could attend to an important work thing without his distracting comments. . . Which of course, was writing this while banging my head into the desk and crying like the baby I want to be. He must think I'm crazy.
I am sure I am the one who made this mess. I've trained them to be like this somehow. I am at a total loss at how to re-train them. But I am really excited to see how they do while I am gone for 6 weeks this summer with my new little bundle of joy. I won't be here to look over ads, reconciliations clean up after them, or take on their random tasks that they can't fit into their busy days.And in case you were curious before I could even post this I received these questions/comments
-Can you look over this one more time?
-Do I just write things off like this? It's what the internet told me to do. . .
-I set the flyers out so you can take care of all that now.
-Why aren't the licenses in the file?
-No, really this is the last time. Can you look over this?
-Where are the AoI? I thought it was here but there's nothing in that file anymore.
Just a few more minutes alone with my coffee and blog world and I will go back out to being the Office Mom.
~Coffee Mom
Sunday, March 3, 2013
The Fabulous World of Daycare: Part 1
Daycare is a necessity in my family.
1) We just can't afford to survive on one income.
2) I love working. Weird but true fact. Paperwork, crunching numbers, reports. It's all awesomeness to me.
3) Neither my husband or I are stay home parents material. I'd love to say that I am capable of being a stay at home mom, but in reality I am just not that person. I give major props to all stay at home parents. How you all deal with this 24/7 thankless job is a mystery to me.
But going to work, as much as I really do love working, comes with a hefty price of mom guilt and frustration. Lil Miss has been going to daycare since she was 6 weeks old. Her first day was the worst case of mom guilt I have ever felt. She was just 5 minutes down the road, but I cried all day feeling worthless. Little did I realize that the guilt doesn't ever go away.
Let's take a trip down Daycare memory lane. . .
Daycare 1
Type: In Home
Age: 6 weeks to 9 months
Time Spent: 7.5 months
The hardest of all day cares is your first. As my mom so nicely pointed out, as I cried to her over the phone, "It doesn't matter if they are 6 weeks or 4 years old, the first one hurts." So basically you can't escape this pain unless you home school, make them go to college online, and then trap them in your basement for the rest of eternity. But it wasn't just the overwhelming feeling that I should be taking care of her, not someone I really didn't know. It was missing things and having someone else tell me what she needed. "Oh, did you notice she is starting to say 'baba'? I teach all my kids that." So not only did I somehow not notice that my baby is starting to talk, but YOU were the one who taught her? Just effing stick a knife through my heart! Or my favorite, the day I excitedly told her Lil Miss had started to crawl. "Oh she's been doing that all week. I just didn't want to tell you!" This continued for the 7 months she was there until we made a lengthy move and thus installment Mom Guilt part 2 started.
*As we settled into our new digs a family member watched Lil Miss for a few months. We knew it was temporary and the good outweighed the bad. I don't really count this as a Daycare situation though so we'll just move right along to. . .
Daycare 2
Type: School
Age: 13 months- 25 months
Time Spent: 1 year
After investigating every daycare in town, I finally settled on one that I felt was the best. I ignored the local small town gossip and dove in head first. It was actually my favorite place that she has been and it had everything to do with her perfect teacher. She was exactly what every mom could wish for. She was present and knowledgeable but not pushy or showy. Never did she act like she knew better than me but she always gave me a full list of her day. Had she could have been her teacher forever, she never would have left. But, as Lil Miss hit the 2 year mark, she moved to a different class with a teacher I'm guessing was high 90% of the time. Her things were constantly coming up missing, she switched rooms 3 times in 2 weeks because of class sizes, and the teacher couldn't tell me if she napped or flew on a dragon that day. I tried convincing myself that when she grew older I wouldn't be able to move her from school to school when she had a bad teacher and this was part of growing up. But that seemed like such a harsh notion for a 2 year old. I tried talking to the director but she shrugged me off. It was miserable. Making matters worse, the small town gossip started to sink in. Rumors of funds being misappropriated ended up being correct and our rates sky rocketed with less than 30 days notice. So after just just 1 month in her new room we were onto to another daycare.
Well I'm stressed enough for one day. We'll move onto Daycares 3-5 tomorrow. =)
~Coffee Mom
Friday, March 1, 2013
A Day in the Life of Me
No, this is not just a bad day that happened last week. This is a typical day in my life.
7:15 Lil Miss arrives at side of bed with an empty cup "Mommy I'm thirsy and the sun is up so . . ."
7:20 Get out of bed when child refuses to leave. "The sun is UP Mommy"
7:25 Get milk and cereal for sleepy eyed child. Make coffee, grumble downstairs to wake up snoring giant of a husband that sleeps through everything. Answer work phone- "Yes, yes uh-huh. Meeting at 10"
8:00 Wait it's 8? How the hell did it take me over a half hour to pour cereal, make coffee, and wake up the husband? Beg child to get her clothes out of her cubby and get ready. She protests. . . Grab clothes myself put on some random Yo Umi Diego show and run downstairs
8:15 Dig through pile of clothes in desperation for something that smells and looks cleans for myself. Change clothes, brush teeth, locate shoes and go to grab husband from office "Why aren't you ready?" He shrugs his shoulders.
8:30 Run upstairs and child is staring at the TV like a zombie. "Why aren't YOU ready!" She shrugs her shoulders. Change channel back to news and dress child, detangle hair, re-do hair, get her to brush her teeth. Yell down to husband "WE HAVE TO GO"
9:00 Do I live in a effing time warp? 9:00! "WE HAVE TO GO" Throw child and husband in car, try to start movie for child. "I'm hungry" she says. "McDonald's it is!" says husband! I sigh as my family cheers for the idea of the unhealthiest food on the planet.
9:20 Depart McDonald's drive though with overly ecstatic family. . .what the hell do they put in this food and why don't they put it in the food I try to make for dinner?
9:50 Arrive at daycare. Remind husband of the 5 billion things in the car that must go in with her while I check e-mails.
9:51 Receive reminder that I have a meeting at 10. Frantically look for number to push back meeting.
10:15 Arrive at work wondering how I've been up for 3 hours already. Grab my 5 million things I need for work and struggle with keys to open door.
12:00 Alarm goes off reminding me to eat lunch. I hit dismiss, make coffee, and eat a random snack from snack cubby (today was a stale PayDay)
3:45 Look at clock in utter dismay as I realize the day is almost over and I have accomplished nothing on my scheduled list.
4:15 Frantically prepare deposit in hopes to get to bank before 5
4:40 Yell at husband who is playing games at his desk . "WE HAVE TO GO" (did I mention the hubster and I work together?)
4:45 Drag 5 billion things to car and speed off to bank
4:59 Arrive at bank in enough time to feel guilty about dropping something off so late.
5:05 Pick up milk and bread from store
5:29 Arrive at daycare in just enough time to not be charged their $5 per minute of being late, late fee. Grab happy child and 20 pictures from her cubby.
5:35 Try to calm hysterical child down because she forgot her stuffed animal in her other cubby (Why the hell does daycare have 2 cubbys?)
6:10 Arrive home. Drop 10 billion things in doorway and run to kitchen to make food. Husband sits down to watch TV with hyper child. Wipe off table, make sub-standard meal of yogurt, carrots, corn, and mac and cheese.
6:30 Oh good God! We are on schedule! "Time to eat!"
7:15 Sigh as child mashes food but won't eat anything. "I want McDonalds"
7:20 Give up. Clear table, pack up food. Husband passes out on couch. Hyper child is running circles in the living room. Beg her to do her chores. Read her a book while cleaning table.
8:15 Again with this damn time warp. We gotta move. Throw child in bath yell at hubster to go downstairs and go to sleep. Clean child. Let her play while I get her room ready- set out jammies, pull-up, turn on radio, clear bed, remove cats, and make sleepy time milk. Go back to find child has decided to use toothpaste for soap.
8:50 Dry child, brush teeth, dry hair, comb hair, beg her to get ready.
9:15 Read story, remind her that she may not get out of bed. Yell at husband to sleep downstairs.
9:20 Set up work station. Mess around on facebook, shoot out emails, mess around on Pinterest.
11:30 Pass out having accomplished nothing.
Maybe I'll just go live in the woods. . .
~Coffee Mom
7:15 Lil Miss arrives at side of bed with an empty cup "Mommy I'm thirsy and the sun is up so . . ."
7:20 Get out of bed when child refuses to leave. "The sun is UP Mommy"
7:25 Get milk and cereal for sleepy eyed child. Make coffee, grumble downstairs to wake up snoring giant of a husband that sleeps through everything. Answer work phone- "Yes, yes uh-huh. Meeting at 10"
8:00 Wait it's 8? How the hell did it take me over a half hour to pour cereal, make coffee, and wake up the husband? Beg child to get her clothes out of her cubby and get ready. She protests. . . Grab clothes myself put on some random Yo Umi Diego show and run downstairs
8:15 Dig through pile of clothes in desperation for something that smells and looks cleans for myself. Change clothes, brush teeth, locate shoes and go to grab husband from office "Why aren't you ready?" He shrugs his shoulders.
8:30 Run upstairs and child is staring at the TV like a zombie. "Why aren't YOU ready!" She shrugs her shoulders. Change channel back to news and dress child, detangle hair, re-do hair, get her to brush her teeth. Yell down to husband "WE HAVE TO GO"
9:00 Do I live in a effing time warp? 9:00! "WE HAVE TO GO" Throw child and husband in car, try to start movie for child. "I'm hungry" she says. "McDonald's it is!" says husband! I sigh as my family cheers for the idea of the unhealthiest food on the planet.
9:20 Depart McDonald's drive though with overly ecstatic family. . .what the hell do they put in this food and why don't they put it in the food I try to make for dinner?
9:50 Arrive at daycare. Remind husband of the 5 billion things in the car that must go in with her while I check e-mails.
9:51 Receive reminder that I have a meeting at 10. Frantically look for number to push back meeting.
10:15 Arrive at work wondering how I've been up for 3 hours already. Grab my 5 million things I need for work and struggle with keys to open door.
12:00 Alarm goes off reminding me to eat lunch. I hit dismiss, make coffee, and eat a random snack from snack cubby (today was a stale PayDay)
3:45 Look at clock in utter dismay as I realize the day is almost over and I have accomplished nothing on my scheduled list.
4:15 Frantically prepare deposit in hopes to get to bank before 5
4:40 Yell at husband who is playing games at his desk . "WE HAVE TO GO" (did I mention the hubster and I work together?)
4:45 Drag 5 billion things to car and speed off to bank
4:59 Arrive at bank in enough time to feel guilty about dropping something off so late.
5:05 Pick up milk and bread from store
5:29 Arrive at daycare in just enough time to not be charged their $5 per minute of being late, late fee. Grab happy child and 20 pictures from her cubby.
5:35 Try to calm hysterical child down because she forgot her stuffed animal in her other cubby (Why the hell does daycare have 2 cubbys?)
6:10 Arrive home. Drop 10 billion things in doorway and run to kitchen to make food. Husband sits down to watch TV with hyper child. Wipe off table, make sub-standard meal of yogurt, carrots, corn, and mac and cheese.
6:30 Oh good God! We are on schedule! "Time to eat!"
7:15 Sigh as child mashes food but won't eat anything. "I want McDonalds"
7:20 Give up. Clear table, pack up food. Husband passes out on couch. Hyper child is running circles in the living room. Beg her to do her chores. Read her a book while cleaning table.
8:15 Again with this damn time warp. We gotta move. Throw child in bath yell at hubster to go downstairs and go to sleep. Clean child. Let her play while I get her room ready- set out jammies, pull-up, turn on radio, clear bed, remove cats, and make sleepy time milk. Go back to find child has decided to use toothpaste for soap.
8:50 Dry child, brush teeth, dry hair, comb hair, beg her to get ready.
9:15 Read story, remind her that she may not get out of bed. Yell at husband to sleep downstairs.
9:20 Set up work station. Mess around on facebook, shoot out emails, mess around on Pinterest.
11:30 Pass out having accomplished nothing.
Maybe I'll just go live in the woods. . .
~Coffee Mom
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Coffee Mom
A few moments ago, I sat staring blankly at the screen trying desperately to come up with a name to enter the blogging world. What really defines me as a person? What will say it all in just a few short words? What will draw readers to my site and empathize with my hectic life? . . .
Oh FFS, it's a screen name. I'm a mom who drinks coffee. And as sad as it may seem to some, that is what defines me as a person these days.
Wait, wait, don't click away yet! I used to be really cool! I traveled with local bands. I stayed up into the early morning hours drinking coffee talking about what was wrong with humanity. I partied with "important" people. I drove around aimlessly with friends like we were in car commercial listening to very meaningful music.
Okay, so I wasn't really all that cool. I was awkward and fumbled through life after high school. And I will probably look back at my life ten years from now and feel the same way about my current self.
My life is. . . totally and completely insane. I assume, well hope, that most moms feels this way regardless of what their lives entail. I work 40-60 hours a week for people who have no respect for the job they hired me to do, 45 minutes away from my disastrous house. I have a super cool 3 year old who thinks I am rock star, but is utterly exhausting to take care of. I am pregnant with number 2 and while I could not be happier about adding to our family, I am terrified that I won't be able to give everyone the attention they deserve. And I have a husband that I love dearly, but makes my life way more complicated than it needs to be.
So now I travel to conventions to mingle with people I don't like. Stay up into the early morning hours doing laundry while working on requested reports that no one will ever read. I party with my 3 year old to Yo Gaba Gaba. And drive purposefully to work listening to talk radio.
So Coffee Mom symbolizes that I do everything for my family and must drink ridiculous amounts of coffee to accomplish this. Yes, even while pregnant.
Oh FFS, it's a screen name. I'm a mom who drinks coffee. And as sad as it may seem to some, that is what defines me as a person these days.
Wait, wait, don't click away yet! I used to be really cool! I traveled with local bands. I stayed up into the early morning hours drinking coffee talking about what was wrong with humanity. I partied with "important" people. I drove around aimlessly with friends like we were in car commercial listening to very meaningful music.
Okay, so I wasn't really all that cool. I was awkward and fumbled through life after high school. And I will probably look back at my life ten years from now and feel the same way about my current self.
My life is. . . totally and completely insane. I assume, well hope, that most moms feels this way regardless of what their lives entail. I work 40-60 hours a week for people who have no respect for the job they hired me to do, 45 minutes away from my disastrous house. I have a super cool 3 year old who thinks I am rock star, but is utterly exhausting to take care of. I am pregnant with number 2 and while I could not be happier about adding to our family, I am terrified that I won't be able to give everyone the attention they deserve. And I have a husband that I love dearly, but makes my life way more complicated than it needs to be.
So now I travel to conventions to mingle with people I don't like. Stay up into the early morning hours doing laundry while working on requested reports that no one will ever read. I party with my 3 year old to Yo Gaba Gaba. And drive purposefully to work listening to talk radio.
So Coffee Mom symbolizes that I do everything for my family and must drink ridiculous amounts of coffee to accomplish this. Yes, even while pregnant.
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