Daycare is a necessity in my family.
1) We just can't afford to survive on one income.
2) I love working. Weird but true fact. Paperwork, crunching numbers, reports. It's all awesomeness to me.
3) Neither my husband or I are stay home parents material. I'd love to say that I am capable of being a stay at home mom, but in reality I am just not that person. I give major props to all stay at home parents. How you all deal with this 24/7 thankless job is a mystery to me.
But going to work, as much as I really do love working, comes with a hefty price of mom guilt and frustration. Lil Miss has been going to daycare since she was 6 weeks old. Her first day was the worst case of mom guilt I have ever felt. She was just 5 minutes down the road, but I cried all day feeling worthless. Little did I realize that the guilt doesn't ever go away.
Let's take a trip down Daycare memory lane. . .
Daycare 1
Type: In Home
Age: 6 weeks to 9 months
Time Spent: 7.5 months
The hardest of all day cares is your first. As my mom so nicely pointed out, as I cried to her over the phone, "It doesn't matter if they are 6 weeks or 4 years old, the first one hurts." So basically you can't escape this pain unless you home school, make them go to college online, and then trap them in your basement for the rest of eternity. But it wasn't just the overwhelming feeling that I should be taking care of her, not someone I really didn't know. It was missing things and having someone else tell me what she needed. "Oh, did you notice she is starting to say 'baba'? I teach all my kids that." So not only did I somehow not notice that my baby is starting to talk, but YOU were the one who taught her? Just effing stick a knife through my heart! Or my favorite, the day I excitedly told her Lil Miss had started to crawl. "Oh she's been doing that all week. I just didn't want to tell you!" This continued for the 7 months she was there until we made a lengthy move and thus installment Mom Guilt part 2 started.
*As we settled into our new digs a family member watched Lil Miss for a few months. We knew it was temporary and the good outweighed the bad. I don't really count this as a Daycare situation though so we'll just move right along to. . .
Daycare 2
Type: School
Age: 13 months- 25 months
Time Spent: 1 year
After investigating every daycare in town, I finally settled on one that I felt was the best. I ignored the local small town gossip and dove in head first. It was actually my favorite place that she has been and it had everything to do with her perfect teacher. She was exactly what every mom could wish for. She was present and knowledgeable but not pushy or showy. Never did she act like she knew better than me but she always gave me a full list of her day. Had she could have been her teacher forever, she never would have left. But, as Lil Miss hit the 2 year mark, she moved to a different class with a teacher I'm guessing was high 90% of the time. Her things were constantly coming up missing, she switched rooms 3 times in 2 weeks because of class sizes, and the teacher couldn't tell me if she napped or flew on a dragon that day. I tried convincing myself that when she grew older I wouldn't be able to move her from school to school when she had a bad teacher and this was part of growing up. But that seemed like such a harsh notion for a 2 year old. I tried talking to the director but she shrugged me off. It was miserable. Making matters worse, the small town gossip started to sink in. Rumors of funds being misappropriated ended up being correct and our rates sky rocketed with less than 30 days notice. So after just just 1 month in her new room we were onto to another daycare.
Well I'm stressed enough for one day. We'll move onto Daycares 3-5 tomorrow. =)
~Coffee Mom
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