Things are not going to smoothly in the house since all this happened. I won't get into details (because I don't feel like sobbing again this morning and because no one really wants to hear them) but she had been sick for about 2 weeks. It boiled down to her getting an infection because of a bot fly (don't look it up unless you have a strong stomach) which triggered kidney failure. The vet tells us she would have died eventually from this as her kidney's were week. But that gives me little comfort.We had her locked up in our guest room, not knowing exactly what was wrong and not wanting to get the rest of our cats sick. Lil Miss would check on her daily, try to get her to eat, drink, and play. She would coo "its okay Cassie" as she pet her. I was proud of her, but had that sinking feeling that her efforts would not help.
The last day was the hardest. I knew what was coming. I've lost several cats before and could see it Cassie's sad eyes that we would not have her much longer. I let her wander the house as Lil Miss followed her diligently chasing away the other cats. And after awhile, I locked her in the bathroom where I cried and apologized to Cassie for not being able to make her better. Her spunk was gone, but I could tell she was saying "Fuck you! Let me die already!"
The husband came home from work and I balled like a baby as he put her in the carrier which was surely to be her last car ride. He wanted to stay positive. It was his cat, and she was going to fine.
And then the call came. She was gone. After several minutes of the husband and I crying as he told me of her last minutes, the big question came up. What do we tell Lil Miss? She's 4...does she really need to know about death? Can we just tell her Cassie ran away?
We talked about it for hours. I looked up articles all saying that telling the truth is the right thing to do. And in the end that is what we did. We bought doughnuts for breakfast from the local bakery and sat her down. . .
"We have something really sad to tell you honey. Cassie did not make it. Cassie died."
Her initail response? "Oh, okay." And all I could think was AWESOME! She doesn't really get it yet! She's too young and this doesn't have to be sad for her. And the first day wasn't. But things have progressed since then. She's asked why the kitty doctor can't just give her medicine to make her come back to life, she's wanted to know where she's at, she's asked to check on her. And worst of all she is now making sure her kitty is drinking water and eating so she doesn't "get dead" like Cassie. She's acting out, crying at every little thing and asking for hugs. She's even stated she doesn't want her baby sister to die. Break my heart.
In a little bit, we are going to bury her in the wild flower garden. I don't want to do it. I want to pretend it didn't happen. But it did. And this is part of owning a pet when you have kiddos. We will go through this again with our other cats and it will be just as heartbreaking as this time.
So why am I writing all this? Because it feels therapeutic to put it out there, I guess.
~CoffeeMom
