Mommy Wars

I like lists. I read a lot of blogs that consist of lists. They are quick and to the point and easily digested. You know what lists I am tired of? I am tired of the lists that tell me what I can and can not do as a mom. And I am even more tired of the comments below them.

So here is my list of things to stop warring about

1) Breastfeeding vs Formula
    "Breast is best!" "Formula is poison!" How about.... MYOB as my 6 year old would say. Or as I would say MYOFB..... Seriously my friends, it doesn't affect you how your neighbor feeds their kid. Unless they are feeding them actual rat poison MYFB I understand that breastfeeding is AMAZING. I think we all do. But here's the thing. It isn't for everyone. There are hundreds of reasons why it may not be right for your neighbor. And one of them might be "I think it's icky" SO WHAT. Some people think avocados are gross. I don't see a campaign for avocados!

2) Pro vs Anti Vaccers
     This one is touchy I know. It's touchy because the pro-vaccers believe that the anti-vaccers could get their kids sick or worse. And honestly, I agree with that. HOWEVER, we do not need to war on this. We need to communicate thoughtfully and site real sources. This a serious thing and name calling doesn't actually make anyone move towards your way of thinking or educate them.

3) Healthy Food vs Shit Food
    I don't care what's in your kids lunch box and you shouldn't care whats in mine. Why are we fighting over this? Why do mom's who feed their kids Swiss Cake Rolls and Cheetos get scolded like a toddler? I'm pretty sure no one thinks that Cheetos are healthy, but who cares? Is child obesity a problem? Yes, yes it is. And if you want to fight that, then talk to your school. Talk to your kids. Write a blog about healthy foods that kids will actually eat. But don't bash other moms and dads that are simply doing what works for them. Pissed because now your little Tommy wants Cheetos? Deal with it! Because we all have to deal with the want of eating crap food and when it's okay and when it's not. And on the other side, if mom and dad are making the time and money to buy only organic happy chicken eggs....why is that a problem? Because you feel guilty that you aren't. That's the real reason people. But ya know what? Deal with it! Because we aren't going to be perfect in every aspect. Give those parents a high five for getting their kids to eat a salad every night and go eat some cheetos.

4) Yelling at Your Kid vs Not Yelling
     Janey pigtails is throwing a fit in the store and Mom X is ignoring her. And somehow you, someone who has never met either of them knows the whole situation and feels you know how to handle the situation better than the mother....Yeah, no, you don't You have no idea what issues mom or kiddo have. Ignoring the kid may be the best way to get the kid to calm down. Better yet, your sister doesn't yell enough at her kids. You know these kids well being an Aunt...but that doesn't mean you know everything. There could be confidence issues that she has chosen to not tell you. Or maybe, just maybe she isn't comfortable yelling with you around. You just simply do not know. On the other side, you see a mom spank a kid's hand in the store and you loose your shit. CHILD ABUSE!!!! Or a stubborn child who responds to hand slaps and a stern voice. Unless their is actual abuse going on, you just don't have enough details to know what the hell is going on behind closed doors.

5) Co-Sleeping vs Separate Beds
     Man, the fight on this one drives me nuts. Again, there is some educating on co-sleeping with babies that is essential but past that, it really doesn't effect you. If you choose to sleep with your kiddo until their 18, whatever. I don't get it, but I don't have to. If it works for you, it works for me. And if you choose to have your baby only sleep in the crib from day, I'm down with that too. Why is this even fight? It totally confuses me.

6) Anything That Doesn't Affect My Child vs Anything Else That Doesn't Affect My Child
    Unless you are doing something that directly puts my child in harms way I don't care how you raise your kids. Now,  if you are telling your kid to beat up my kid, we need to have a talk (or a beat down) but seriously, there is no need to war and get defensive over ANYTHING

Most of us are doing our best. Your best may be way better than my best and vise versa. But I think we need to spend a lot more time sharing stories about what works then fighting over whats best for someone else's family. We could be working together to do whats best and instead we get defensive of how we do things and insult people. It's a disgusting trend. And while I think it mostly online and not in our face to face dealings with people, the online trend is strong enough to weaken us all.

This is really a big deal to me and even one person reads this 5 years from now and decides to stop with the hateful comments on Facebook (or whatever we're using in 5 years) I will feel like I made a difference in the end to Mommy Wars.

What's pretty cool, is I am not the only person who feels this way. Let's work together to put an end to this nonsense.

Let's End the Mommy Wars

How Time Flies. . .

A good friend recently started blogging. She asked me to read her first post and messaged me as she got her first follower. I was super excited for her! And out of nowhere I remembered, I too used to blog. I seriously had forgotten it.

Since that day a few weeks ago, it is all I could think about. Not just that I wanted to do it again, but that I had totally forgotten about it. Could preggo brain really last for over 2 years?

I've a lot about it. I think I was happy blogging because there was really a lot of good in my life at the time and a lot of good to look forward to. But the last 2 years...man....they have been rough!  I've moved 3 times. 3 times with 2 young kiddos. I mean really I could make a really long list of all the trails of the last 2 years but do I really need to say anymore?

My life has been so hectic, so chaotic, I don't think I wanted to take the time to tell the internet how sucky things were. I blocked that option from my mind. And while things are still sucky, they are looking up and smoothing out.

I'd love to say that this will be my new old thing. That I will start this up with a new sense of dedication to myself. But I am really in a non-commital stage of my life. I'm lucky if I can commit to hockey 3 times a week, or homework every night, or a shower once every other day.

So we'll see where this goes.

~CoffeeMom