Mommy Wars

I like lists. I read a lot of blogs that consist of lists. They are quick and to the point and easily digested. You know what lists I am tired of? I am tired of the lists that tell me what I can and can not do as a mom. And I am even more tired of the comments below them.

So here is my list of things to stop warring about

1) Breastfeeding vs Formula
    "Breast is best!" "Formula is poison!" How about.... MYOB as my 6 year old would say. Or as I would say MYOFB..... Seriously my friends, it doesn't affect you how your neighbor feeds their kid. Unless they are feeding them actual rat poison MYFB I understand that breastfeeding is AMAZING. I think we all do. But here's the thing. It isn't for everyone. There are hundreds of reasons why it may not be right for your neighbor. And one of them might be "I think it's icky" SO WHAT. Some people think avocados are gross. I don't see a campaign for avocados!

2) Pro vs Anti Vaccers
     This one is touchy I know. It's touchy because the pro-vaccers believe that the anti-vaccers could get their kids sick or worse. And honestly, I agree with that. HOWEVER, we do not need to war on this. We need to communicate thoughtfully and site real sources. This a serious thing and name calling doesn't actually make anyone move towards your way of thinking or educate them.

3) Healthy Food vs Shit Food
    I don't care what's in your kids lunch box and you shouldn't care whats in mine. Why are we fighting over this? Why do mom's who feed their kids Swiss Cake Rolls and Cheetos get scolded like a toddler? I'm pretty sure no one thinks that Cheetos are healthy, but who cares? Is child obesity a problem? Yes, yes it is. And if you want to fight that, then talk to your school. Talk to your kids. Write a blog about healthy foods that kids will actually eat. But don't bash other moms and dads that are simply doing what works for them. Pissed because now your little Tommy wants Cheetos? Deal with it! Because we all have to deal with the want of eating crap food and when it's okay and when it's not. And on the other side, if mom and dad are making the time and money to buy only organic happy chicken eggs....why is that a problem? Because you feel guilty that you aren't. That's the real reason people. But ya know what? Deal with it! Because we aren't going to be perfect in every aspect. Give those parents a high five for getting their kids to eat a salad every night and go eat some cheetos.

4) Yelling at Your Kid vs Not Yelling
     Janey pigtails is throwing a fit in the store and Mom X is ignoring her. And somehow you, someone who has never met either of them knows the whole situation and feels you know how to handle the situation better than the mother....Yeah, no, you don't You have no idea what issues mom or kiddo have. Ignoring the kid may be the best way to get the kid to calm down. Better yet, your sister doesn't yell enough at her kids. You know these kids well being an Aunt...but that doesn't mean you know everything. There could be confidence issues that she has chosen to not tell you. Or maybe, just maybe she isn't comfortable yelling with you around. You just simply do not know. On the other side, you see a mom spank a kid's hand in the store and you loose your shit. CHILD ABUSE!!!! Or a stubborn child who responds to hand slaps and a stern voice. Unless their is actual abuse going on, you just don't have enough details to know what the hell is going on behind closed doors.

5) Co-Sleeping vs Separate Beds
     Man, the fight on this one drives me nuts. Again, there is some educating on co-sleeping with babies that is essential but past that, it really doesn't effect you. If you choose to sleep with your kiddo until their 18, whatever. I don't get it, but I don't have to. If it works for you, it works for me. And if you choose to have your baby only sleep in the crib from day, I'm down with that too. Why is this even fight? It totally confuses me.

6) Anything That Doesn't Affect My Child vs Anything Else That Doesn't Affect My Child
    Unless you are doing something that directly puts my child in harms way I don't care how you raise your kids. Now,  if you are telling your kid to beat up my kid, we need to have a talk (or a beat down) but seriously, there is no need to war and get defensive over ANYTHING

Most of us are doing our best. Your best may be way better than my best and vise versa. But I think we need to spend a lot more time sharing stories about what works then fighting over whats best for someone else's family. We could be working together to do whats best and instead we get defensive of how we do things and insult people. It's a disgusting trend. And while I think it mostly online and not in our face to face dealings with people, the online trend is strong enough to weaken us all.

This is really a big deal to me and even one person reads this 5 years from now and decides to stop with the hateful comments on Facebook (or whatever we're using in 5 years) I will feel like I made a difference in the end to Mommy Wars.

What's pretty cool, is I am not the only person who feels this way. Let's work together to put an end to this nonsense.

Let's End the Mommy Wars

How Time Flies. . .

A good friend recently started blogging. She asked me to read her first post and messaged me as she got her first follower. I was super excited for her! And out of nowhere I remembered, I too used to blog. I seriously had forgotten it.

Since that day a few weeks ago, it is all I could think about. Not just that I wanted to do it again, but that I had totally forgotten about it. Could preggo brain really last for over 2 years?

I've a lot about it. I think I was happy blogging because there was really a lot of good in my life at the time and a lot of good to look forward to. But the last 2 years...man....they have been rough!  I've moved 3 times. 3 times with 2 young kiddos. I mean really I could make a really long list of all the trails of the last 2 years but do I really need to say anymore?

My life has been so hectic, so chaotic, I don't think I wanted to take the time to tell the internet how sucky things were. I blocked that option from my mind. And while things are still sucky, they are looking up and smoothing out.

I'd love to say that this will be my new old thing. That I will start this up with a new sense of dedication to myself. But I am really in a non-commital stage of my life. I'm lucky if I can commit to hockey 3 times a week, or homework every night, or a shower once every other day.

So we'll see where this goes.

~CoffeeMom 

Couponing for Lazy Moms

We've all seen the posts, blogs, and shows on couponing. It looks awesome, doesn't it? Women with shopping carts full of food dancing because they paid $1.56 for $200 worth of food and pictures of pantries that look like grocery stores.

I don't know about you, but I've tried this game a time or two. I've cut coupons until my hands hurt, made detailed grocery lists with estimated prices and meal plans that even the pickiest family could enjoy. But it never lasts and I've never saved more than 30% in one trip. Ya know why? Because I don't have 2 hours a a day to figure this shit out! And because I'm lazy. It's a lot of work, this couponing thing. So sometimes I fail because I'm lazy and I just don't have it in me to scour the internet for coffee coupons. And sometimes it's because I literally don't have the time.

So instead of eating a bag of Cheetos in the corner while sobbing because I only saved 28% on my last Target trip, I'm going to dance in my computer room and take pictures of my 9 boxes of International Coffee I have stocked up and make a list for the rest of the lazy/busy moms that want to get in on this gig.

1) Put them in Something Grab a binder, an envelope, shoe box, your kid's torn up school folder and start printing. It doesn't have to be pretty girls! Just get something to gather those coupons in that is portable. I have a shoe box next to my printer and a binder that fits in my purse, which happens to be more of a book bag because I am a purse pack rat.

2) Get a New Email- A lot of sites require sign up to get good deals. So grab a seperate email and send all that junk there. When I had everything going to my main email I was deleting like crazy. Now, I check my extra email when I am in the mood to save.

3) Follow the Good Sites- There are some great sites out there like Krazy Coupon Lady and LOZO  that will do the work for you. Krazy Coupon Lady posts deals through out the day with links to where to print the coupons. She tells you exactly how to get that package of pasta down to .05 And LOZO is just awesome! Sign up, put in your grocery list and in a few days they send you a link for coupons that matched your list. Freakin AWESOME.

4) Print When You Can- My printer is a piece, so sitting at the computer for 2 hours while I wait for my 176 coupons to print is a no-go. I "clip" all my coupons, open up all the sites and keep that in a seperate window. Then every time I sit down at my computer to check email or facebook I print up a few pages.

5) Clip Everything- I clip every coupon I may or may not use. For instance, diapers. I clip every damn diaper coupon I find. Since I don't sit down and look through the ads for deals, I can use whatever brand is having a deal that day. Last week Target had buy 2 get a $10 gift card on Pampers...I don't usually buy Pampers as they are way more expensive than the cheapo Target brand that happens to work just as well. But lucky me I had my coupons so not only did I get 10 bucks for two I saved 3 dollars on each box.

6) Keep your Coupons with You- I frequently have to do last minute and surprise shopping trips. If my coupons are on me, I'll actually spend a little more time planning the trip and I'll use the damn things before they sit like expired guilt on my dishwasher.

7) Dance and Take Pictures- Okay, so maybe we aren't the gals that can save 98.7% on shopping trips, but 28.4% is still something to smile about. So whatever you save, be happy about it. Take pictures of your little victories and share them all over facebook.

And for those of you that love and depend on coffee as much as I, here's my super happy coupon tip of the day

~Coffee Mom

Loosing the First Family Pet

Four days ago we lost our first pet as a family. It was tragic and dramatic, right out of a movie. She was a beloved Ragdoll Siamese named Cassie that had the spunk of a toddler juiced up on candy corn and mountain dew. She was amazing and we were lucky to have her for the 6 years that we did.

Things are not going to smoothly in the house since all this happened. I won't get into details (because I don't feel like sobbing again this morning and because no one really wants to hear them) but she had been sick for about 2 weeks. It boiled down to her getting an infection because of a bot fly (don't look it up unless you have a strong stomach) which triggered kidney failure. The vet tells us she would have died eventually from this as her kidney's were week. But that gives me little comfort.

We had her locked up in our guest room, not knowing exactly what was wrong and not wanting to get the rest of our cats sick. Lil Miss would check on her daily, try to get her to eat, drink, and play. She would coo "its okay Cassie" as she pet her. I was proud of her, but had that sinking feeling that her efforts would not help.

The last day was the hardest. I knew what was coming. I've lost several cats before and could see it Cassie's sad eyes that we would not have her much longer. I let her wander the house as Lil Miss followed her diligently chasing away the other cats. And after awhile, I locked her in the bathroom where I cried and apologized to Cassie for not being able to make her better. Her spunk was gone, but I could tell she was saying "Fuck you! Let me die already!"

The husband came home from work and I balled like a baby as he put her in the carrier which was surely to be her last car ride. He wanted to stay positive. It was his cat, and she was going to fine.

And then the call came. She was gone. After several minutes of the husband and I crying as he told me of her last minutes, the big question came up. What do we tell Lil Miss? She's 4...does she really need to know about death? Can we just tell her Cassie ran away?

We talked about it for hours. I looked up articles all saying that telling the truth is the right thing to do. And in the end that is what we did. We bought doughnuts for breakfast from the local bakery and sat her down. . .
"We have something really sad to tell you honey. Cassie did not make it. Cassie died."
Her initail response? "Oh, okay." And all I could think was AWESOME! She doesn't really get it yet! She's too young and this doesn't have to be sad for her. And the first day wasn't. But things have progressed since then. She's asked why the kitty doctor can't just give her medicine to make her come back to life, she's wanted to know where she's at, she's asked to check on her. And worst of all she is now making sure her kitty is drinking water and eating so she doesn't "get dead" like Cassie. She's acting out, crying at every little thing and asking for hugs. She's even stated she doesn't want her baby sister to die. Break my heart.

In a little bit, we are going to bury her in the wild flower garden. I don't want to do it. I want to pretend it didn't happen. But it did. And this is part of owning a pet when you have kiddos. We will go through this again with our other cats and it will be just as heartbreaking as this time.

So why am I writing all this? Because it feels therapeutic to put it out there, I guess.

~CoffeeMom

Catching Up and Keeping Up

Well when I last left you all, I was trying to accomplish one week of healthy food. Not only did I fail at that, I let my newly found love of blogging fall to the waste side as well. Bummer!

I have excuses and reasons that reach to the moon and back. But I am kind of over excuses and reasons. I'd like to actually stick to something for once. . . Well I stick to a lot of things like feeding the children, going to work...ya know the shitty stuff you have to do. This time I'm going to stick to something for me.

So, I'm back.

Since 3/24/12 I've had some big changes take place in my life. The hubster joined the military, I have a new baby in the house, and I am in the middle of changing jobs. So much to talk (bitch) about!

So while I'm skipping the coffee tonight so I can sleep before lil miss number 2 wakes up, I'll be back soon coffee in hand.

~Coffee Mom

Week Of Healthy-ish Food (sort of)

I totally forgot we had to go out of town last week . . . again. So we'll start out with Monday-Wednesday and I'll get around to Thursday-Sunday next week. It was a nice start though.

Monday

Parmesan Crusted Tilapia 
Okay, so nothing "crusted" is ultra healthy for you, but it's fish and I need to figure out how to make it bearable for my family. No one eats fish in this house unless it is drenched in tartar sauce and breaded beyond recognition. So we gave the above recipe a try.

Verdict: Freakin awesome. I loved, loved, loved it. The kiddo did too, but filled up on salad first so she didn't finish her fish. Can you say lunch tomorrow? The husband said "It's not as good as pizza, but I'd eat it again if you put it in front of me." In my book, that is a win
* Took this for my lunch on Tuesday and realized our microwave is broken. Awesome surprise, it was just as tasty cold.

Tuesday

Cold Oatmeal
I'm sure you have all seen this on Pinterest, the Mason Jar oatmeal trend. Well, I don't have Mason Jars or half the healthy ingredients listed in this blog, so I just winged it using Tupperware instead of mason jars and regular old oats without chia seeds.  I made three different kinds to see how they would turn out.
1) Oatmeal, frozen strawberries, greek yogurt, and soy
2) Oatmeal, cranberries, walnuts, greek yogurt and 1%
3) Oatmeal and 1%

Verdict: Way better than cheerioes which is our normal morning ritual. Number 1 was by far the best. We gave this one to the kiddo who said it was the best thing ever. Number 2 was good, but a little runny. And number 3 sucked. Super runny and the oats seemed very raw yet. Hubster threw his away. So, sort of a win as long as we stick in between 1 and 2.
*Side Note: Mr. Steak and Potatoes refused to eat his cold. His look of horror as I served him this cold dish was hilarious. You'd think I gave him fried cat lips. So we nuked it...nothing exploded.

Wednesday

Chicken Strips

I had to find a new way to do chicken. I love chicken and could eat it every night but the family is really tired of 3 ways I make it and they never tire of chicken strips. So we gave this one a whirl. The hubster was in a particular shitty mood and fought me on cornflake breading. So I told him to make his own. He made some with turkey chuncks, regular breading and broiled them instead of baking. We also tried the homemade honey mustard.

Verdict: Epic win because his sucked and mine rocked. The only problem was the cornflakes were a little too crunchy for my sensative preggo teeth. But the kiddo thought they were better than "yucky McDonalds".  And even the hubster admitted defeat. The homemade honey mustard was actually pretty good and way better than what I had in the fridge. I should also mention that this was super quick. It took about 15 minutes to make and 15 to cook.

So far, so good. Let's hope this week when I tie things up works just as well.

~Coffee Mom

A Week of Healthy-ish Food

Earlier I posted about how I eat healthier as a result of having my family. Which is mostly true. I am way healthier than I was before them. Mainly because now I eat three meals a day and rarely is it McDonalds.

We still aren't as healthy as I would like. We are far from being a "green" family who lives off the garden in the backyard and eats flax seed with organic soy milk for breakfast. Not that there is anything wrong with that...we just aren't those people. My husband is a steak and potatoes kinda guy. I don't see flax seed breakfast in our future.

So why the new venture into healthy food land? The hubster wants to get back into the military and I don't really want to gain 60 pounds with this pregnancy as I did with the last (even though I am scarfing girl scout cookies while I write this). So we are going beyond whole wheat bread and 1% milk this week. I'm trying something new and healthy-ish every day. We start everything out today with an experiment in fish.

Wish me Luck!

~Coffee Mom