The other day I started to delve into the world of Daycare feeling stressed and deflated as I realized there were 3 more to go and my poor little chica is not yet 4. But today I am feeling refreshed and ready to tread further down my path of guilt.
DayCare 3
Type: School
Age: 25 months- 31 months
Time Spent: 6 months
In financial desperation we moved to another daycare in September of that year. It was closer to home, further from work, cheaper with longer hours. As with all new things do, this placed seemed like it came out of my dreams. The director was loyal and always listened to the parents without prejudice. And her parents were in the same field as myself so she understood the long and hectic hours. But the teachers were less than desirable. She had 3 teachers over the course of one day. All seemed to know more about my child than I did and made sure to tell me on a daily basis. "She has a really runny nose. You may want to get that checked out. We really don't want her spreading something to the rest of her class." A runny nose? Really? You want my to pull my kid because of a runny nose in winter? I learned to shrug their know-it-allness and struggled through the next few months. After only being there for 2 months I found a flyer stuck to her door. "Due to challenges with our budget we will be closing at 4pm starting Monday" I was livid with the short notice as I start to read another notice about rate increases also starting Monday. I could have cried. The two main reasons we chose this daycare was for the hours and price. Now we were dealing with shorter hours than the other daycares and paying more for it. But not wanting to change her schedule for a 4th time, I sucked it up, re did the finances and my work schedule and reminded myself that this is the price to work. And then these sneaky little s.o.b.s sent out another flyer in February "Due to budget challenges we will be closing in 2 weeks." And this time I literally cried.
DayCare 4
Type: In Home
Age: 31 months- 3 years
Time Spent: 4 months
So in March of last year in the middle of 3 conventions, we switched to yet another daycare. It was a painful process as Lil Miss was old enough to miss her friends and her school. Funny, she never mentioned her teachers. A friend's aunt was wanting to try the in home daycare thing. She had a son roughly Lil Miss's age and a baby. It started, as always, wonderfully. She took them to the park. They played outside every day. She even took them to play places all at her own cost. She even texted me pictures throughout the day! But then one day as we go to pick up our wild child early, we find her wandering in the woods by herself with the little boy. Suddenly our image of her days crashed into a ginormous mound of guilt and worry. She swore up and down that she had just run inside for a moment, but the questions crept in. What had her days been like? Was she being watched at all? Over the last few years I had to remind myself constantly that no one would take care of her in the perfect way... but could I accept this? Could this fall into the category of good enough for her? The hubster and I struggled on what to do. This was a family friend. What would be the consequences of telling her we were going somewhere else? Was it worth the drama? Were we over re-acting? We went back and forth on the issue for a month when I received a lovely text "My son is having too many issues and I need to concentrate on him. I'm sorry to do this, but I can't watch her anymore." This was in July, our busiest month. And while I should have been happy the decision was made for me, I was irate! A text message? She apologized daily and in the end it was for the best.
Daycare 5
Type: School
Age: 3 years- present
Time Spent: 7 months
So we turned to the only daycare left in town. If this didn't work, we'd have to pack up and move. Or I would have to bite the bullet and turn into the stay at home I really didn't think I could be. It's Friday and I am rushing from work to drop off paperwork and painful upfront fee and mandatory field trip fees. I bring in my list of questions now that I am seasoned daycare mom and ask about late fees, fee increases, field trip requirements, lunch policies...the works. "I see here that you require a Dr.'s note for milk intolerance. She gets constipated when she has regular milk, so she only has soy milk. Is that an issue?" Boy, was it ever. Her initial reaction was to question whether Lil Miss had any issues at all. Then began to debate with me on whether soy was healthier or not. None of which should have been her concern. So I called my Dr and begged him to write a Dr.'s note for her having never seen her about this issue. Being the fabulous Dr that he is he called the daycare personally to inform them that I was making the correct decisions, that there was nothing wrong with soy milk and he would be faxing over a note shortly. I understand daycares have rules they have to follow, but it just seems that could have been handled...ya know...any way but that way. After out initial tiff, there weren't too many more issues. Lil Miss loved it, quickly made friends and began to learn things I didn't realize she was capable of learning at her age. Overall it has been a pretty painless process and I wished we would have chosen this one first. We still have the teachers that feel it is more important to spout their infinite wisdom than to give me a real feel for her day. "These gloves don't fit her anymore. You really need to get to Wal-Mart and find some that fit her better. I think they even have some marked down if you are really that hard up." Bite me! Her gloves fit, she just pulls them off. And even if they didn't fit, isn't their a nicer way to present that fact to me? I have noticed that the only teachers who do this are the younger staff that are not yet moms. The mom teachers are always pleasant and warm. They seem to understand that having someone else watch your child is hard enough and acting like a know it all makes the whole experience worse. So far, this place is a keeper and I feel we have finally reached a good spot in our daycare lives.
So what's the point of all this? Hell if I know. I'll get back to you tomorrow when my coffee cup magically fills up again.
~Coffee Mom
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